A Dane in America

The Price of Being Free

2006-02-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

It is very sad - the story about the cartoons in Jyllandsposten.
They appeared half a year ago, in September 2005. A children's
book author couldn't find anyone to illustrate his biography of
Mohammad. So he wrote to Jyllandsposten and the newspaper
took up the challenge to test how Danish Islam and freedom of
speech would collide in this matter - as such things should be
tested, always.

Notably, as non-muslims, we are not required
to pray five times a day, to not eat pork, and in particular, to
not draw pictures of the prophet Mohammad. We are entirely
free to do so, because we are non-muslims.

However, I do think that some of these rather bad carricatures were
really offensive, in particular one of them (the one where Mohammad
wears a turban shaped as a bomb). The newspaper showed bad taste
and should have apologized to the offended Danish Muslim minority.
But then again, there is no law requiring them to do so. And they
didn't (until recently). So protests against the newspaper in Denmark
last year were completely justified and they happened in Denmark
as such things happen in a democracy.

However, a Danish Muslim organization went to the Middle East
and spoke with representatives about the issue, and thereafter,
things have spun entirely out of control. It has gone from being
a matter between Jyllandsposten and the Danish Muslim minority,
to become a matter between Denmark (possibly EU or the West
at large) and the Muslim world at large. This confrontation, which
is generated by radical forces in the middle east through prayers,
Arab media, and other sources, is utterly unreasonable and unjust.
I think it is fuelled by the wishes of these governments to detract
attention from their interior problems. They are using the case
as a show-off of strength towards the easy but unlikely Scandinavian
target - the same Western countries that have hoistorically treated
the Arabs most fairly in the Middle East crisis.

Now they want Denmark to apologize, a logical absurdity, since
Denmark as a whole has no responsibility whatsoever for what an
editor of a newspaper decides to write in a democratic country.
Some Arabs think that media are connected to the government
(because theirs are) and so they generated this very unfortunate
upscaling of the conflict. Now, the fire has started and it is feeding
from all the frustrations and hid away anger towards the West of the
Muslim world.

Scandinavia has always been on the forefront of peace and help to
the Middle East. The Scandinavian support for the third world
is second to none in terms of % of GDP. In the Israeli-Arab conflict
Scandinavia has been the possibly most non-biased promoter of
peace, giving a lot of credit to the Arabs and being a major builder
of the Palestinian Authority. Ever heard about the Oslo treaty?

Now they are burning my flag and my embassies in Syria, Libanon,
Palestinian territories, Pakistan.... for a silly, stupid cartoon that
the Danish government can not excuse because we have FREEDOM
OF SPEECH. The newspaper has apologized, it was an internal
Danish debate, ok? The newspaper is even going to court. The court
will decide what was wrong and what not. That's the end of story.

Now, I know that there is much anger and frustration in the Muslim
world towards the West, some of it definitely justified and most of it
due to the US and the UK. While suspected, to see the magnitude
of this anger is deeply troubling. It seems to have been the spark
the ignited the fire. The UK and the US are not showing much
support for freedom of speech right now. This saddens me. I thought
they were our allies. In addition, I thought we shared values. Instead,
Bush calls the cartoons insulting - which I partly agree with - but in
a single statement without showing any support at all towards
the Danish view point of free speech and the fact that Denmark as
such is not to blame. But I guess controlling the media is neccessary
to "export democracy", although that makes no sense to me. Those
to "blame" are the fundamentalists in the Middle East and those in
the West who started the war in Iraq and now don't know what to
do with it. But these people are in a win situation right now, by
having Denmark as a very unlikely focal point in such a conflict.

Bush deserts the defences of democracy and free speech
that he verbally holds in such high regard. Fortunately most American
blogs I have seen are supportive of the Danish. At one such blog I found
the image above.

Very sadly, the anger is directed towards Denmark - a liberal, tiny
country with an (until now) rather pro-Arab foreign policy, but which
contains a newspaper that has published a stupid cartoon of the prophet.

So what is more important - the good that our government has done to
the Arab countries and Palestinians, or the drawings of a single Danish
newspaper that can do what it wants in a democracy?

Fundamentalists thrive on the lack of any sense of proportion.

What can I say - even I am starting to think that all this time, supporting
the Palestinians economically was wrong. I know it's wrong to think like
that but when they burn my embassies, and for such lack of reasons,
dialogue is over. The hardliners have to stop now or they inflict damage
beyond repair on their countrymen.

And to all Americans believing in free speech out there: Thanks for the support!!

http://hnn.us/blogs/entries/21097.html
http://glojos.blogspot.com/2006/02/thank-you-denmark.html
http://youvebeentold.blogspot.com/2006/02/buy-danish-products-support-denmark.html
http://daniel-in-brookline.blogspot.com/2006/01/support-denmark.html
http://michellemalkin.com/archives/004413.htm
http://skender.be/supportdenmark/
http://librabunda.blogspot.com/2006/02/support-denmark-in-its-hour-of-need.html
http://freedomforegyptians.blogspot.com/2006/02/denmark-do-not-apologize.html
http://freedomforegyptians.blogspot.com/2006/02/syrias-jihad-against-denmark.html
http://egyptiansandmonkey.blogspot.com/2006/01/retardedness-continues.html
http://freedomforegyptians.blogspot.com/2006/02/why-egyptians-are-not-torching-danish.html
http://sgtsledgehammer.blogspot.com/2006/02/support-denmark.html
http://daniel-venezuela.blogspot.com/2006/02/support-denmark.html
http://olehgirl.blogspot.com/2006/02/you-can-get-your-own-cool-support.html
http://sahmsplace.blogspot.com/2006/02/support-denmark-et-al.html
http://brightandearly.1southernyankee.com/2006/02/support-denmark-ribbon/
http://pubphilosopher.blogs.com/pub_philosopher/2006/01/support_denmark.html
http://iraqwarjournal.blogspot.com/2006/02/support-denmark.html
http://prophetmadman.blogspot.com/2006/02/i-support-denmark.html

Dating in the USA

2006-01-24T20:42:00.000-08:00

I have been here for one year, but I have been
reasonably busy getting friends. One of the most
rewarding aspects of life is getting to know new
people with diverging opinions and philosophies.
I really suck new impressions to me, in a way that
seems to scare my colleagues (my dating habits
remain the major topic of all our lunch discussions
and I gladly share whatever views I have - causing
some disturbance among my American lab mates
since we obviously disagree on some major points).

So I decided to share a bit of my little experience
with this country so far:

My favorite dating procedure would be something like:

1)
Setting: Coffee at a neutral place (coffee shop).
Style: Casual
Behavior: Be yourself in a non-pushy way (if you can)
Conversation: Even though you are honest, direct, curious,
don't get too intimate during conversation, i.e. don't
talk about ex girl friends and your emotional screw ups.
Romantic: Absolutely NO kissing. If she tries to kiss you,
something is not right (= she is trying to get over an ex).

About kissing on the cheek:
If the girl is worldly, you can kiss her on cheeks. If she
is European, one on each side starting from her right is fine.
Don't make it complicated, any side is eventually ok, you
two should be able to figure it out. Some (worldy) girls
take a little bit offense if you don't show respect by kissing
them on the cheeks. You will notice that some girls will
want three cheeks (as far as I remember, it's the Portugese,
some Eatern European, and Spanish girls) My French ex-girl
friend always wanted two, my Polish ex-girl friend wanted
three. One kiss is ok with some Americans because they
don't know any better, but it is hugely offensive to anyone else.
Also, Italian, Spanish, Portugese, French, and Greek girls
in my experience consider hugs to be amusing. Only kiss very
vaguely, barely touch with your lips. Don't kiss her hand
on a first date! (and don't hold'em too, don't do
ANYTHING with her hands, ok?)

If not scared away, then
2)
Setting: lunch on a second date.
Style: Wear something nice, but still casual.
Behavior: Be yourself even if involves being a bit pushy :-)
In fact, ALWAYS be yourself. You don't want to play games,
do you? (because, then you will only succeed with players).
Conversation: It is proper to start talking about your past
emotional life if the atmosphere is right. Otherwise stick
to everything you are good at and by all means: figure out
now if you really like this girl. If you do, talk about your
one-month desert safari in Saharah (see separate log on Libya).
Romantic: You will know if a kiss is appropriate on the mouth.
Don't attempt any tongue! Take it easy, there'll be plenty of
time later if something is meant to be. If she tries to kiss you,
she may still be trying to get over an ex :-) but this time, feel
the force and go where it may take you.

After second date: If you seriously want to see this girl again,
don't bring her home. Tell her that you like her a lot and let
at least three days go, to make sure that you know what you
are doing. Then:

3)
Setting: Dinner or something extraordinary (depending on
how much you like her and how romantic and creative you are)
I had a girl doing karate with me on Yale Campus for third date.
It was very intimate (for me at least). Fair to say, though, it
never worked out between us (long story, but she broke my
heart as she was emotionally unavailable - rule #1 of dating
club: DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH EMOTIONALLY
UNAVAILABLE GIRLS) The extraordinary should come by
itself and based on what the two of you know each other. In
my world, if third date is "just" a dinner, I am not really
interested enough. If I were, I would have an idea for
something extraordinary that both of us would enjoy.
Style: Wear something that fits the occassion (surprise!)
It can be as formal as you want....
Behavior: Be yourself, for God's sake! Don't even ask!
Conversation: You can always talk about the 13 cats
you had as a kid, the 12 times you went to Provence, your
first crush on your cousin, the amazingly crazy life that
you lead and maybe also begin to be confidential with her,
if that's where you are going.
Romantic: Anything is ok. At least a kiss on the mouth,
possibly with tongue if the sensual atmosphere is right
(Since going on a third date for both of you should imply
that you are into this after serious consideration). I would
not recommend sex on a third date. Unless physical
attraction can't wait or the "extraordinary" date involved
sex already (lol!). If she is not making the moves, you should.
She is with you for the third time! (I made this mistake
when I was very interested in a girl, not to make the
"romantic move" - trust me, it's a loose to wait with kissing.
Romantic behavior should start here! If something starts
looking like a friendship, a friendship it will be. And it is
very hard to turn friendship into a romantic relationship.

4)
Fourth date: Is not really a date. You should end up at her
place or your place. I will leave the rest to you. Unless,
for some unfortunate reason, friendship took over. If
you value this girl as a friend, keep her in your life.

P.S.
Net dating sucks. All the emotionally unavailable (EUN*) girls
are in one place: the internet. For rebounds and what not.
I have bad experience with net dating in the USA. In Europe
it works fine (I had two girl friends I met online in Denmark).

P.P.S.
If you by some strange coincidence date a Scandinavian girl;
if she didn't make a move on you on the second date, she's
not interested. Also, Danish and Swedish girls are assertive,
but inside they want a man to be a man - and remember,
being macho is NOT being a man. No macho BS! Only
EUN girls and teenage girls fall for that.

* EUN instead of EU, not to confuse with the silly little
excuse for a federal state that the French and Germans are
playing around with.

Grinding

2006-01-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

US has a grinding culture. I've went to
Toad's once for a dance party and first thing I
noticed was the undergrad's grinding each
other's asses off all over the dance floor, sometimes
in very artistic configurations involving substantially
more than two people.

Now, where I grew up, we learned to
1) Get eye contact with the girl
2) Get eye contact with the girl (again)
3) casually approach her
4) if in bar, then talk with her
5) if at dance floor, then dance with her
6) dancing means "looking each other
in the eyes while performing face-to-face
motions with entire body, not just ass, but
including e.g. legs.

But now I learned that here, you must
1) Pick a victim
2) grind yourself against victim's ass
3) look innocent and/or casually naughty
when girl turns her head to check you out
4) if she stays, grind again
5) if she still stays, you're set
6) if she leaves, grind against her girl friend

I wouldn't consider myself tight-up, but I find
this grinding thing slightly vulgar. Also,
in Scandinavia* we either dance or have sex,
we don't try the hopelessly absurd and
attempt to do both simultanously.

I mean, it's either or. Not "and". Boolean
logic doesn't apply to the monumental quest
of mating.

* I say "Scandinavia", because I did
my ph.d. in Sweden although I am Danish and
I feel strongly affiliated with my brother
country which we fought violently through
some 1000 years of history starting in the
viking age.

Skinny Dipping

2006-01-20T21:32:00.000-08:00

A phrase kept popping up during conversations....
I noticed that all American girls think it's
cool to go "skinny dipping" (SD), and it is supposed
to be secretly at night under influence of alcohol.
In fact, if you make a profile at match.com you
will find that ALL American girls think it is a
turn-on (whereas tattoos are more like 50-50).
So much for diversity. At first, I didn't understand
what they meant. I thought SD to be some
sacred American youth ritual of a delicate
semi-erotic nature. When I finally realized that
they are just talking about plain nude swimming, I
asked a friend what the **** that was all about
because we constantly do that in Scandinavia in
full daylight, and she told me it's an important
part of American culture because people don't
have exposure to nudity over here. So they learn
about that ... stuff..... by jumping in the ocean naked
after the prom... or something like that. I fail
to understand how this ritual, if it only be of
educational value, manages to stay on the
"turn-on" list of many an adult female all over
this country. Maybe I should just start doing it
drunk at night time instead.... I see the point
of getting totally naked if you're from the midwest
and have your first contact with the ocean, as a
kind of back-to-nature appraisal. But apparently,
the simplest actions can be raised to mysterious
and powerful rituals if performed under the
influence of alcohol and the illusion of breaking
a taboo....

But hey, if everything natural turns us on when we
have discarded it for a while in search of civilization,
we should stand a pretty good chance of staying
excited the next hundreds of years as we devote
ourselves more and more to modern life. Not long
from now, the daring ritual of being outdoors
secretly at night and maybe even looking at the
stars will be considered a turn-on and naughtily
referred to at our match.com profiles.

Top 10 things so far

2006-01-15T14:06:00.000-08:00

These are the things I like here so far, after being here for a year:

1) NYC
2) Autumn in New England
3) The energy of east coast Americans
4) The open bar concept
5) My guitar that I bought here
6) Archie Moore's
7) BAR
8) Wal-Mart
9) Taco Bell
10) Yale events with free food

Yale

2006-01-15T13:51:00.001-08:00

Yale is a nice little university. Many of the undergrad students are very busy. Americans pretend to work more than Europeans. Maybe they do. I have a Russian friend who thinks that Europeans are more effective when they work, and therefore have more spare time. I think they just have more spare time because they want.

Yale has a nice campus. It is almost hundred years old. That's a lot here. My apartment in Copenhagen is older, but I don't want to tell them that. Most of the Yalies are involved in some kind of extracurriculum, such as an organization. It is a good way to meet people and create networks. In Denmark, we don't do that because it is illegal to think that you can manage an organization (The Jante Law). Here, people put such stuff on their CV. Needless to say, American CVs become very long very fast.

Yale's campus is nice. Some think it is the only nice part of New Haven.

Wal-Mart

2006-01-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

Wal-Mart keeps me alive!
I love American cereal.

Since I didn't bother to get
a driver's license yet, I
have to rely on American
friends to bring me there.
It is always exciting to
go there. Which kind of
Sam's Choice to try next?
Of course, my American
lab mates don't understand
my appreciation of Wal-Mart.
They think it's the cheapest
crap. But then again, it's
fascinating for me because
it is what it is. And we don't
have Wal-Mart in Denmark. We
have something called Netto
and it is much worse.

Prolog

2006-01-15T13:31:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess it is reasonable to start with an short prolog:
I came to the US January 3, 2005. I live in New Haven
and work at Yale University. This is the story of my
encounter with American culture, as seen through the
eyes of a not-completely-normal Dane.